Good Intentions

At the beginning of 2022 my good intentions and in fact my goal, was to write every day….

That went out the window a couple of months ago when I completely lost my mojo. I have blamed my ‘failure to follow through’ on a number of things. I suppose like many I fell in a bit of a hole mentally when the whole Russian war against Ukraine hit the headlines. I had been feeling optimistic about life as we slowly started returning to a semblance of normality after 3 years of COVID and all of a sudden we were all on edge wondering if WW3 was going to be our new pandemic. I must admit I had some days where I was questioning the meaning of it all. Writing seemed so frivolous when there were people suffering in ways I could not even begin to imagine.

Life has gone on and the world hasn’t imploded….yet, but I have just struggled to write, which for anyone who knows me, is not normal. I am an empath and I really think I have just felt so overwhelmed and heavy with all that is happening in the world and along with some personal struggles, my creativity has suffered and my mind messy making it hard to put into words my thoughts.

Although I am not one to condone ignorance to world events by avoiding the news I am realising I have to balance my desire to remain informed, against the impact that being exposed to too much pain and suffering has on my mental health. Our media both news and social is saturated with drama, war, crime, grief and next level suffering and it can have a detrimental affect on our wellbeing if we don’t create some boundaries. I work in mental health and am exposed on a daily basis to anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, domestic violence, child protection issues, poverty, homelessness, substance abuse and significant mental health illnesses. This alone tests the limits of my own mental health and wellbeing without adding all the pain and suffering of the world into my corner. I am still on a journey of learning how to protect myself from vicarious trauma and have effective boundaries that protect me. I need to know what is happening in the world and although I may be powerless to stop the pain and suffering, the wars, the deaths, I owe it to those hurting to be educated so I can in some small way advocate for them. I just need to make sure I read the signs when I am starting to feel overwhelmed by the gravity of it all and pull back, practice self-care and reassess my boundaries.

I suppose what I have been doing in these last couple of months of not writing, is just that. I have pulled back, practiced self-compassion and rearranged my boundaries and I am now a little less messy in the head, feeling a little more creative and looking forward to returning to my love of writing…..maybe not everyday though 🙂

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